What Did You Learn in School Today, Son?

Well, now I have heard it all. Last week, two local high school students were suspended for the heinous crime of bringing a dangerous substance to school. They were bad, and have been punished.

What terrible and dangerous substance did they expose their innocent young classmates to? Was it alcohol? Was it heroin? Was it a crate full of automatic weapons?

No, gentle readers, it was none of the above. I will tell you what these youthful miscreants, these felons in the making, brought to school that peaceful winter morning. Brace yourselves, now. These teenaged hoodlums brought


Snow.


You see, this is Southern California, and our winters are mostly winters in name only, at least down here in the flatlands. However, if you care to journey up into the mountains, you can see real, live snow. These two young men decided that their friends would enjoy the novelty of a "snow day." So they got into their trucks at four a.m. and drove up to Big Bear, there to fill the truck beds with fresh, cold snow, which they brought to school.

Delighted students were soon throwing snowballs at one another, until da man showed up and busted them.

Ramona high school principal Mike "Toughlove" Neece said that one of his most important responsibilities is maintaining a safe, orderly learning environment.

Sez Mike, "Anything that disturbs that or disrupts that is inappropriate on a school campus. Anything that could cause injury, or could cause a student to get upset and instigate a fight, or damage students' personal property is just inappropriate behavior."

He then stamped his foot for emphasis, and punched Chuck Norris (who was making a personal appearance at the school) in the mouth.

As the troublemakers were led away to face their punishment, principal Neece reminded them that the incident was going on both of their permanent records.

The unrepentant delinquents replied, "Give us a break. It's only snow."