I'm So Cool, I Think I'll Go Put On a Sweater

I love this technology-rich time that we live in. It used to be, when you were out in public and started talking away and there was nobody with you, it meant that you were a freeze-dried whackaloon, and sane people would shun you. Nowadays, however, you're just another jerk with a cell phone. I love that I don't have to feel embarrassed when passersby catch me having a spirited discussion all by myself. They see the little thingy in my ear, and they are reassured. All is well.

The way I see it, no one has to know that I have never owned a cell phone, and that the little thingy in my ear isn't connected to anything.