The Raw and the Cooked

First off, a confession here. My name is Savage, and I do not drink coffee.

>Hi, Savage!<

Despite coming from the loins of dedicated coffee drinkers, I have never felt the urge to indulge in the roasted and boiled bean. Even nowadays, in the age of Starbucks, I do not indulge; never mind that most of the green lady's beverages scarcely resemble coffee, what with the milk and the sugar and the divers flavorings.

For this, I am labeled outcast. So be it. I do not need a jolt of caffeine to start me up in the morning. If truth be told, I would prefer a glass of chilled champagne, or a mug of cold chocolate milk. (Dependent upon mood and circumstance.)

(Yeah, I know chocolate has caffeine in it. Bite me. )

This being said, I must confess to a certain yearning, one that I find a bit embarrassing, one that has on occasion caused me shame. (That time at South Coast Plaza, for example. Yes, I did inhale, but that was all!)

(It is simply not true that I licked the canisters. Nor did I threaten the counter boy with death if he didn't let me "just fondle the beans a little bit."

Can I help it if the same small brown nuggets that are so banal when brewed up in water to be drunk are so tantalizing when they are dry? Why do roasting coffee beans smell so drop-on-the-floor delicious?

And why do people eat burnt cookies (biscotti)?

There was a time when I realized that I had an addiction. Opening my cupboard to fetch a devilled egg plate, I noticed that I had six teapots. Now, this could come in handy if I were to open a small tea room, otherwise, not so much.

And speaking of--why do I have three or four (I think one is hiding) devilled egg plates? Am I opening a Southern tea room?

Was I the only girl who hung around those mall perfume stores just to sniff the cups of coffee beans? (And leave unsatisfied?) Coffee beans roasting. Mmm... Some smells are cold. Some are warm. The smell of roasting coffee beans is warm. Some things smell of the color that they are. Roasted coffee beans smell brown. The smell makes me feel good.

But you still can't get me to drink coffee.